If You Feel Forced to Be Happy, Read This

On my darker days, these are the things I remember:

• The first dead body I ever saw
• My grandfather’s stomach, which used to be warm, cold in a coffin.
• 62 people sitting in a silent church sobbing
• My grandmother’s sunken, sallow face 2 days before she died.
• (And the way my brother bawled when he saw her)
• Morphine, Halidol, Clonazepam, Lorazepam — a seemingly endless cycle of hospice care for Emily.
• My high school friend who died in his sleep for no reason.

The disturbing thing is how often we are press-ganged into a sort of eternal cheerfulness. Keep smiling so you don’t turn people off! Positivity is the key! Glow! Be charismatic! That’s how you win!

No it isn’t.

Also, there is no winning.

Today, I give you permission to feel whatever you are feeling. If you are sad, tell us with your work. If you are mad, put it on whatever canvas you use. Show us horror and tragedy and death, if that’s what’s on your mind.

Creative work is nothing more than a mirror. Look inside. Tell us what you see.

Tomorrow, do the same.

Much love as always,

— Todd B ❤

Please share this with someone who needs to hear it.