What to Do If You Have Both a Family and a Passion (3 “P”s)

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Whenever you write online, there’s a good chance someone’s mother will be upset with you.

But still, I wrote “don’t get a job” in this post because even though I have a job, I truly believe a single, young person should not go out of their way to build chains around their lives.

I want to qualify “single for a reason: Quitting your job to chase a dream WITHOUT caring for your family is one of the most selfish things anyone can do.

On the flip side, if you are apathetic about what you are doing in life, you’ll be a lousy spouse/parent to be around.

I am terrible at finding balance. Probably the worst. Luckily, my wife is more than willing to let me know when work is eating up her time.

Here are 3 ways I try to find balance between what I love and who I love:

Presence

“Could I please have a second of your time when you are not looking at your phone?!”

My wife?

My mom?

My brother?

Nope.

It was me.

A raging hypocrite at times, I recognize the need for attention from people I love. Kate’s Snapchat feed is annoying when I’m trying to talk with her. Yet my Twitter use when we go to dinner is somehow acceptable.

Hmmm.

When I get home, I HAVE to pack my phone in my bag, which goes upstairs with the door shut. Otherwise, I’ll get confused and think getting an ego boost off Kristin from Iowa who loves my post is more important than, I don’ t know, the woman who chose to spend her life with me.

When you are hustling, go all in.

When you are home, go all in.

Perseverance

I will never ever ever ever ever be bitter about my full time job.

It keeps the lights on. It feeds my wife and my dog and my cats. It provides me access to people who can help me grow.

Even though I hate that I can’t update my website or connect with people or write as much or as quickly as I want to, I will never be bitter about it.

Do you know what, though?

I am not going to quit chasing my dreams in my down time. Not now. Not ever.

Decide in this moment you will keep moving forward. No matter who thinks you are crazy. No matter how long it takes. No matter how slow you go.

One day you will look up and be where you meant to be all along.

Patience

Here are just a few things which currently keep me from working on my dream 24/7

  • My house has a project list a mile long
  • My grandmother is going through some health issues
  • My wife wants to (get this) actually spend time with me
  • My puppy wants to play ALL the time
  • My job requires at least 40 hours of me per week.

I will be slower than a young, single hustler with no strings. I might even get “beat” by someone, whatever that means.

But if I move 1 inch every day, eventually I will have gone a mile. I like what my friend Declan Wilson says about this: Spend 80% of your time doing the things you “have to do,” and then 20% chasing your dreams.

I don’t care if I peak at 70 years old. I’d prefer it, actually. Obscurity is a luxury.

Your success may not come in leaps and bounds.

It may just be one boring step forward.

And then another step forward.

And then another step forward.

All that matters is if you keep walking.

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— TB

Written by

An optimist who writes. www.toddbrison.com/infinite-ideas

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